There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Randomize