well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
