About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
