We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
