We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
