I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
You dont lie about slip and slides
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Randomize
