I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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