Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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