My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize
