Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
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