I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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