are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Randomize
