im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
