Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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