You're my little dorito
Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
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