new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
