LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
