tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
he wants to bone in the snuggie
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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