Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
