No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
