Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
