She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize