Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
