I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
