Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
