covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize
