Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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