I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
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