I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Randomize
