i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Randomize
