please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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