A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
