shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I am spending my child support on dildos
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
