Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
