I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
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