I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Randomize