508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I just cut my nipple shaving
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
