I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
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