can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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