and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize
