Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
