just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Randomize