I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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