I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
