I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
God, I missed his penis.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
