My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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