Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Randomize
