Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
