we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
