he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
