I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Randomize
