You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
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