out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Randomize
