the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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