Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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