i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
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