i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
