my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Randomize
