Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
