clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
