just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
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