I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
