the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
well you can't waste a boner
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
