I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Randomize
