i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize