Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Randomize
