will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize
