I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
