A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Randomize
