She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
