When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
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