idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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