I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Mom said you looked used
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize
