he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
